My Cup Runneth Over

So yesterday my hair was falling out by the handfuls and I just couldn't take it any longer.  I had a friend lined up today to help with the deed and even my sister-in-law as back-up.  But I just couldn't wait. 

I received my daily text from my dear friend, Erin asking me how I was doing and what could she do for me.  This girl has a heart of gold.  I don't know if there's anything she wouldn't do for me! I asked if she would come over and shave my hair and without hesitation she said, I'd be honored.

Then, I received my daily text from another dear friend, Shannon and once I told her what was going down.  It was on!  She rallied Michelle and Susan and within a short time, I had all four of these lovely ladies in my home ready to hold my hand, pray with me, laugh with me, cry with me, whatever I needed they were there for me.

These girls are teaching me so much about what it means to walk as a Godly woman.  To honour their Savior by carrying their friend through a difficult time, but doing so with so much joy in their hearts.  I am so grateful for each and every one of them!  They are all so busy taking care of their own families, but they dropped everything for me!  My illness, hair, etc. is so temporary, but the bond I share with these girls is for eternity.  LOVE  you girls with ALL my heart!

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV)

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character (Godly Woman)

^{10 [a]}A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

God is so Gracious!

I'm sorry if my last post was upsetting for you.  I started it when I was really not feeling well.  Spiritually, mentally, and physically I was just depleted.  But thanks to your prayers, I am feeling so much stronger.

By the time I was on my way to my treatment, I was at peace.  My momma drove me and then I walk in, and my friends Shannon, Susan, and Tammy where already there waiting for me.  I just LOVE these girls!  We even went out to lunch afterwards.  God is so gracious!

I even got to go to the LifeNetwork banquet where I ate a yummy fried chicken meal and spent the evening with dear friends and got to hear a great speaker.  My sweet friend Michelle offered to drive me and I told her that I would call her by 6 pm if I was not feeling up to it.  Thankfully, I was still feeling well so I decided to get ready and realized that my hair was starting to fall out in small strands.  I didn't panic!  I just asked Jesus, one more night.  I'm an 80's girl so I decided to hair spray it down and it held up.  God is so gracious!

This morning I was scared to wash my hair but I did.  I was gentle with it though.  Lol!  I didn't even blow dry it that much.  I just scrunched it with product and hair spray and off I went to go shopping with my mom.  I first had to stop at the Curtis Jewelry to drop off a necklace to be fixed.  The lady who helped me was so beautiful and had the prettiest hair and do you know what she said to me?!?  I love your hair.  The color and style is so flattering on you!  Wha?!?  It was as if Jesus was speaking right through her.  My eyes just filled with tears and of course I had to explain to her why.  She ran and grabbed some tissues and told me she would pray for me.  God is so gracious!

I don't know why this is my appointment.  Maybe through this, a co-worker, a friend, a family member will come to know Christ as their personal Savior.  I have already seen how the Lord is working in my mom.  She has never been happier.  Don't get me wrong, it saddens her deeply to see me like this but He is also granting her peace.  Our church family and the Godly women who I have the pleasure of calling my dear friends have been a testimony of Christ's deep love for His people.

A close cousin of mine and her family had fallen away from the Lord and our family, but now I find them coming back around.  Praise God!  She is calling me on a regular basis and reminds me that I am still her little girl.  So while some days are filled with pain and disappointment, this makes it worth it.  Or when my boys are loving on me like nobody's business, it's all worth it.

I don't know how people get through times like this without the hope of Jesus Christ.   If there is anyone reading this who does not have a personal relationship with Christ, I strongly encourage you to reach out to me or another Christian friend you can put you on the path.  Please don't wait until something like this happens to you or some other trial in life.  I assure you, if you haven't experienced rough times in your life, just you wait because it WILL happen.  Life can be cruel and can beat you down, but when you have the hope in Jesus, He and only He can give you the strength to persevere.  Please know that I am speaking boldly out of love and not judgement.  I would love to share with you what my life was like without Christ and what a difference He has made in my life.  And yes, God is so gracious!

Our dear Pastor and friend sent this verse to me and John.

Isaiah 40:28-31 (NIV)

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Much love,
Sandy

Treatment #2

I never imagined my first treatment would do me in as much as it did, but unfortunately they over did it on my meds (Zophran and steroids). Needless to say, I ended up with a severe migraine and nausea for days on end. If you know me, I am NOT a dramatic girl, but I have never felt so horrible in all my life! They were definitely some dark and emotional moments for me.

It took about a week to feel somewhat okay again, which was perfect timing because we left on Friday to go to KC to visit with my sister and Josh was in a soccer tourney. We took home the silver, by the way. WAY TO GO PANTHERS! Will have to post pictures later so you can see how adorable these boys are.

So treatment #2 is today at 11:45 and I feel sick just thinking about it. This one will probably be the worst for me. As if the nausea wasn't bad enough, I am told I will lose my hair with this treatment. I've known this, I've tried to prepare myself for this, but there's no preparing for this. I know I really should not care. All I should be thinking about is getting better.

But I HATE feeling sick and I especially HATE looking sick. Breast cancer mutilates a woman from the inside out. All that the Lord gave a woman to make her look and feel beautiful is striped from her, including her dignity.

As much as I'm trying to embrace all of this, it is extremely difficult. So I take it one day at a time. There are days where I am emotional and bitter (cannot lie). But then there are days like today, where I'm at peace. It's another "but God" moment for me. Here's what I read in today's devotional, "When you see your disappointment as God's appointment, you start to understand its purpose." WOW! That spoke to me.

I don't know what God's purpose is for me in all of this BUT I do know that it's His appointment and I can find no other place I'd rather be.

Please pray for me that I tolerate this next round better.

"33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34

Eve of Treatment #1

It's been a long time since I've experienced such emotional highs and lows. So while I've been recovering quite nicely from surgery and regaining strength in my right arm, it's time to move on to the next phase of treatment...chemo.

As with surgery, I was sad and emotional up until the day prior. And then there was no more. The power of prayer.

So tomorrow at 8:30 am, I will have a port or portacath surgically put in. This is used to administer the chemo so that they don't have to stick me each time. Once the port is in, I will get my first treatment.

I will have 8 rounds of chemo. One round every two weeks for 4 months. Then afterwards, I will have radiation for a full month, Monday - Friday.

I know the Lord does not give us a spirit of fear and I know this season shall soon come to pass. Thank you for your prayers as they continue to be my stronghold.

"I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13