Praising God for a strong man who is honoring his commitment to love me in sickness and in health. Praising God for my family that are just beside themselves with worry. (I love you Mom) Praising God for my church family who are on their knees in prayer for me and my family. Praising God for Godly women for spending time with me, crying with me, and praying with me. Praising God for those who are taking time from their busy lives to feed my family. Praising God for sweet little girls who made the yummiest cupcakes for me. Praising God for co-workers who are supporting me and taking on my workload. Praising God for friends, friends of friends, and complete strangers who are encouraging me and praying for me. Praising God for neighbors offering to lend a helping hand.
Thanks to all for your love and encouragement. It is truly appreciated.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Praising God In This Storm
I really should be on my way to the office, but I had to journal this especially because I already know how busy my day and evening will be.
So my devotional verse today is from Isaiah 54:3, "For you will spread out to the right and to the left." Being honest here, this did not resinate with me, but then the title reads REFUSE TO PULL BACK! Okay, still nothing. But then it goes on to say.....
Satan will try to plant all kinds of fear in your mind about things that are not even likely to happen. He will tell you that your children are going to be lost; that because cancer, Alzheimer's or heart disease runs in your family, you too are going to get it. His goal is to stop you dead in your tracks. He knows God's plan for you is to "spread out to the right and to the left," not pull back. "How long with this attack last?" you ask. At least as long as the longest stand you've taken against Satan in the past! What can you do? Take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day" (Eph 6:13 NKJV). Stand squarely on God's Word and refuse to pull back.
I so needed to hear that this morning. There are days where I feel spiritually drained and I'm sure there will be more days like these to come. But through the power of prayer from my family and friends, Satan will NOT win! He will not strip me of the joy I have in my heavenly Father.
So today, I am praising God in this storm. He will see me through!
So my devotional verse today is from Isaiah 54:3, "For you will spread out to the right and to the left." Being honest here, this did not resinate with me, but then the title reads REFUSE TO PULL BACK! Okay, still nothing. But then it goes on to say.....
Satan will try to plant all kinds of fear in your mind about things that are not even likely to happen. He will tell you that your children are going to be lost; that because cancer, Alzheimer's or heart disease runs in your family, you too are going to get it. His goal is to stop you dead in your tracks. He knows God's plan for you is to "spread out to the right and to the left," not pull back. "How long with this attack last?" you ask. At least as long as the longest stand you've taken against Satan in the past! What can you do? Take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day" (Eph 6:13 NKJV). Stand squarely on God's Word and refuse to pull back.
I so needed to hear that this morning. There are days where I feel spiritually drained and I'm sure there will be more days like these to come. But through the power of prayer from my family and friends, Satan will NOT win! He will not strip me of the joy I have in my heavenly Father.
So today, I am praising God in this storm. He will see me through!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
I Have Breast Cancer
I am not much of a writer. I rarely post anything on Facebook. I don't have a Twitter or Pinterest account. I'm pretty quiet and private about most things in my life. But I felt I needed to document the journey I am about to embark upon.
You see, on January 17th I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It's taken me a while to actually say that out loud and I assure you that it is becoming more and more of a reality as I am scheduled for surgery this coming week.
Let me rewind a little. So last year I turned 40 and I can't pinpoint exactly when I started feeling some odd sensations in my right breast. But something told me it wasn't right. I had a female doctor visit scheduled in December so I figured I'd discuss it with her. She couldn't feel anything but since I was now 40, she suggested I get a mammogram.
The day of the mammogram I immediately knew there was a problem when the doctor asked for more images of my right breast. He went on to say there was some suspicious calcifications that needed to be biopsied. So I had the biopsy on Monday, January 16th. The next day I got the call confirming cancer and by Wednesday I was in the breast surgeon's office discussing plans for a mastectomy.
Mastectomy?? But I had no tumors, just calcifications so can't they just give me something to get rid of it? That's how uneducated and ignorant I was about this deadly disease. My diagnosis at this time was Stage 0, non-invasive DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ). If you're going to get breast cancer, this is the least invasive with Stage 4 being the most invasive and my understanding, incurable.
The doctor also wanted me to get an MRI to see if there was more behind the scenes in the lymph nodes. I had never had an MRI before and really didn't know what to expect. Whoa! Was it rough. If you have the slightest bit of claustrophobia, it will set your anxiety off!
My anxiety was the least of my worries because the MRI detected a suspicious lymph node which meant another biopsy. And then there was more bad news....at least one lymph node was diseased which meant my Stage 0 cancer quickly became Stage 2A, invasive ductal carcinoma.
So I went from a healthy 40 year old to one who needed to educate herself quickly about a disease I knew nothing about. A disease that requires an oncological surgeon for the mastectomy, an oncologist (cancer doctor), a radiologist for radiation treatments, and a plastic surgeon for reconstruction. I don't even have a primary care physician!
The plastic surgeon was the most difficult to find and it took 3 tries but the third was the charm. Trouble is, he practices at Barnes while the oncological surgeon is at MO Bap. Ideally, the oncological surgeon will do the mastectomy and the plastic surgeon will slip in afterwards and start the reconstruction process by implanting a tissue expander. All of this can be done in one surgery if your surgeons are on staff at the same hospital. Unfortunately for me, I will have to have two surgeries.
On Thursday, March 1st, I will have a mastectomy at MO Bap and then the following Monday, the 5th I will have a tissue expander implanted at Barnes. By the way, if you google on breast tissue expander, there's a YouTube video of a breast reconstruction. Good gracious! There isn't anything you can't find on the Internet. I'm sure of it.
I realize this is a lot to absorb and trust me, I left a lot out too. I wish I would have started journaling this roller coaster ride sooner, but it's been tough trying to keep up with my already busy schedule but then to add doctor appts after doctor appts.
So while turning 40 has been a curse, it has also been a blessing. While I have breast cancer, it was caught early enough that it is curable. I will be fine. By God's grace, I will beat this. By God's grace, my family will be closer than ever. By God's grace, my marriage will be stronger on the other side of this. By God's grace, I will come to appreciate friendships more than ever and create new ones. By God's grace, I will see life through His eyes and cherish every moment.
You see, on January 17th I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It's taken me a while to actually say that out loud and I assure you that it is becoming more and more of a reality as I am scheduled for surgery this coming week.
Let me rewind a little. So last year I turned 40 and I can't pinpoint exactly when I started feeling some odd sensations in my right breast. But something told me it wasn't right. I had a female doctor visit scheduled in December so I figured I'd discuss it with her. She couldn't feel anything but since I was now 40, she suggested I get a mammogram.
The day of the mammogram I immediately knew there was a problem when the doctor asked for more images of my right breast. He went on to say there was some suspicious calcifications that needed to be biopsied. So I had the biopsy on Monday, January 16th. The next day I got the call confirming cancer and by Wednesday I was in the breast surgeon's office discussing plans for a mastectomy.
Mastectomy?? But I had no tumors, just calcifications so can't they just give me something to get rid of it? That's how uneducated and ignorant I was about this deadly disease. My diagnosis at this time was Stage 0, non-invasive DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ). If you're going to get breast cancer, this is the least invasive with Stage 4 being the most invasive and my understanding, incurable.
The doctor also wanted me to get an MRI to see if there was more behind the scenes in the lymph nodes. I had never had an MRI before and really didn't know what to expect. Whoa! Was it rough. If you have the slightest bit of claustrophobia, it will set your anxiety off!
My anxiety was the least of my worries because the MRI detected a suspicious lymph node which meant another biopsy. And then there was more bad news....at least one lymph node was diseased which meant my Stage 0 cancer quickly became Stage 2A, invasive ductal carcinoma.
So I went from a healthy 40 year old to one who needed to educate herself quickly about a disease I knew nothing about. A disease that requires an oncological surgeon for the mastectomy, an oncologist (cancer doctor), a radiologist for radiation treatments, and a plastic surgeon for reconstruction. I don't even have a primary care physician!
The plastic surgeon was the most difficult to find and it took 3 tries but the third was the charm. Trouble is, he practices at Barnes while the oncological surgeon is at MO Bap. Ideally, the oncological surgeon will do the mastectomy and the plastic surgeon will slip in afterwards and start the reconstruction process by implanting a tissue expander. All of this can be done in one surgery if your surgeons are on staff at the same hospital. Unfortunately for me, I will have to have two surgeries.
On Thursday, March 1st, I will have a mastectomy at MO Bap and then the following Monday, the 5th I will have a tissue expander implanted at Barnes. By the way, if you google on breast tissue expander, there's a YouTube video of a breast reconstruction. Good gracious! There isn't anything you can't find on the Internet. I'm sure of it.
I realize this is a lot to absorb and trust me, I left a lot out too. I wish I would have started journaling this roller coaster ride sooner, but it's been tough trying to keep up with my already busy schedule but then to add doctor appts after doctor appts.
So while turning 40 has been a curse, it has also been a blessing. While I have breast cancer, it was caught early enough that it is curable. I will be fine. By God's grace, I will beat this. By God's grace, my family will be closer than ever. By God's grace, my marriage will be stronger on the other side of this. By God's grace, I will come to appreciate friendships more than ever and create new ones. By God's grace, I will see life through His eyes and cherish every moment.
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