Eve of Treatment #3

Here I am the eve of treatment #3 and I have insomnia.  It's been happening a lot lately too which is odd especially because I fatigue so easily.  But I guess it's giving me time to blog.  ;)

Treatment #2 went much better than the first.  Praise God!  Aside from fatigue, digestive issues, and mouth tasting like crude, it was tolerable.  It took me about a week to rebound from it which was perfect timing as it allowed me to enjoy my sisters wedding this past weekend. 

So while it was tolerable, I'm not ready to face #3.  Am I ready to get it over with?  Absolutely!  But I still hate everything about it.  I guess what I'm saying is that I need your continued prayers.  I need HIS strength.  

I recently read a book that Shannon recommended.  By the way, that girl does some reading!  I don't think she ever lets her mind rest.  LOL!  The book is called Me and the Ugly C by Becky Dennington.  The author is a survivor and while she always knew she'd be a writer some day, she never imagined her first book would document her breast cancer journey.

The author is also a Christian and lives 3 hours from St. Louis and traveled back and forth to Barnes for several months while undergoing treatment.  If you or anyone you know is battling BC, I highly recommend this book!  You're welcome to borrow my copy.

It was therapeutic for me.  It affirmed my thoughts, fears, and emotions.  There was one chapter in particular that really got to me.  It made me bawl.  Even if I didn't have BC, I'm sure I still would have cried.  But this one touched me deeply because I've been there.  She writes:

But some days I am not strong.

And some days I am not brave.

Some days I am sad and discouraged.

And sometimes there are reasons.

 And sometimes there just aren't.

Chemo was really taking it's toll on her emotionally and physically but she stayed strong and relied on her Heavenly Father to see her through.  She ended the chapter as follows which of course made me cry some more!

 Sometimes I forget to look, but my glass is half full...not empty.  I will REST when I'm tired.  I will not give up.  I will accept that some days will be hard and discouraging, but I know that tomorrow will be brighter.  I will remember that this isn't just about me and that there are others standing outside, depending on me to make it go away.

This woman's work is not done.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."  Romans 8:18



And this woman's work is NOT done either!  I WILL not give up!  I WILL continue to be strong for those around me!  Tomorrow WILL be brighter!