Treatment #2

I never imagined my first treatment would do me in as much as it did, but unfortunately they over did it on my meds (Zophran and steroids). Needless to say, I ended up with a severe migraine and nausea for days on end. If you know me, I am NOT a dramatic girl, but I have never felt so horrible in all my life! They were definitely some dark and emotional moments for me.

It took about a week to feel somewhat okay again, which was perfect timing because we left on Friday to go to KC to visit with my sister and Josh was in a soccer tourney. We took home the silver, by the way. WAY TO GO PANTHERS! Will have to post pictures later so you can see how adorable these boys are.

So treatment #2 is today at 11:45 and I feel sick just thinking about it. This one will probably be the worst for me. As if the nausea wasn't bad enough, I am told I will lose my hair with this treatment. I've known this, I've tried to prepare myself for this, but there's no preparing for this. I know I really should not care. All I should be thinking about is getting better.

But I HATE feeling sick and I especially HATE looking sick. Breast cancer mutilates a woman from the inside out. All that the Lord gave a woman to make her look and feel beautiful is striped from her, including her dignity.

As much as I'm trying to embrace all of this, it is extremely difficult. So I take it one day at a time. There are days where I am emotional and bitter (cannot lie). But then there are days like today, where I'm at peace. It's another "but God" moment for me. Here's what I read in today's devotional, "When you see your disappointment as God's appointment, you start to understand its purpose." WOW! That spoke to me.

I don't know what God's purpose is for me in all of this BUT I do know that it's His appointment and I can find no other place I'd rather be.

Please pray for me that I tolerate this next round better.

"33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34